I was vacuuming in the bedroom one morning, well about mid morning, and Mack (the 5 year old trickster) came in and started asking me something. I put up my index finger and shook my head in the NO fashion to let him know that I could not hear him and that he needed to wait just a minute until I was done. He politely turned around and walked away. It was just about two minutes until I was finished. I turned off the vacuum cleaner and unplugged it and walked into the kitchen. There was Mack in the middle of opening a piece of candy.
"What are you doing?", I asked.
"Getting a piece of candy," he says nonchalantly.
"Who said you could have a piece of candy?"
"You did."
"I don’t remember you asking me if you could have a piece of candy."
"Yes I did, you were vacuuming and I asked you if it was to early to have a piece of candy and you shook your head no."
What could I say? I did shake my head no. I opened my mouth to say something but I quickly closed it because there was nothing I could say. I looked at my son Timmy and he looked at me and we both grinned. Actually Timmy laughed and said, "you got busted on that one, Nanny". Then I turned around and laughed. Darn that 5 year old trickster!
This one is for you Lisa………………………………..!
Showing posts with label silly. Show all posts
Showing posts with label silly. Show all posts
Friday, April 4, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Goodbye to Boots and Socks
Boots and Socks have continued to grow and grow. I guess I never expected rats to get so big and fat. I am known only to them as the food lady. They see me and they immediately start to jump at the lid to the aquaruim. What does she have for us today? They even make squeeky noises at me. They have lived off of cookies, muffins, cereal, boring dog food, miniture marshmallows, and there most favorite, biscuits. Of course there is always that extra something or other that I might try and throw in there cage, like pizza crust. I have even made them toast. They have not disappointed me in liking almost anything. But (there is always a but to any situation), I have discovered that I am allergic to them. If I hold them I brake out in welps and itch terribly. If I breathe of them too much I start to wheeze and cough. And I can feel my throat tighten up very quickly. A situation indeed. So I exist only as the food lady, no petting, no holding, just dump the food in and go. No problem cleaning the cage though. As long as I don't hold them I am okay. How sad of an existance for Boots and Socks. Eat, sleep, run on the wheel, and get a drink. I need to do something and the only thing to do is to find a new home for them. How hard is this going to be?
I start in my own back yard.
"Jeremy, do you want some pet rats?"
Jinny says, "No Jeremy. Don't even think of it."
"Shawn, how about you?"
"No", from both him and Chrissie.
"Timmy?"
"No."
So much for my own back yard. I was chatting one night with my friend Debbie. I asked her to ask her son if he knew of anyone who wanted pet rats. She said, "No! He isn't having any @#^%( *&%^%#@)( pet rats". That response didn't surprise me. I expected it. But tell him to ask around. I guess I will try at work. I tried to single out people I knew that had kids. You would not believe the responses I got.
"You have what?"
"Rats," I say.
"You mean you have them as pets?"
"Yes."
"You mean you hold them and stuff like that?"
"Well, you see that is the problem, I am allergic to them so I can't hold them and pet them. I need someone to take them who will give them some attention."
They aren't listening to me. They are still stuck on the idea that I have pet rats!
"Your kidding me right?"
"No, I am serious."
"I have a whole new impression of you, Sheila. I never thought of you as having RATS for a pet."
I became rat fink, and rat girl. And no one wanted any pet rats. They just shook their heads and laughed at me. I got a lot of interesting suggestions. Set them loose, give them to your cats, let the dogs play with them. Take them back to the pet store. Come on, I saved them from being snake food, how could I do that? A snake owner would take one look at how fat and healthy they were and they would be history in the belly of a hungry snake. Besides, no matter what anyone says they are fat cute guys. Scot told me I would be stuck with them forever and I was beginning to believe him. But I would not give up my quest.
Along came Tara. A new girl at work. She has four kids. And it never occured to me to ask her. Four kids is enough to feed. One morning we somehow got on the subject of pets. I mentioned that I was still trying to find a new home for my pet rats. Tara said, "Friday is my sons birthday and I would love to take them". Then Yolanda said, "I didn't know you were trying to get rid of your rats. I would have taken them for my son". Where was she the whole time I was interviewing people? There we sat, three women discussing how neat rats were for pets. Can you believe this? I knew that they would be taken care of now. But I was also worried that four young children might be dangerous for Boots and Socks. But I think I have no other choice then to do this. I couldn't wait to tell Scot that my situation has been solved.
Friday morning was a little hard for me. I got the aquarium and sat it on the bar. It was a heavy load (especially since Boots is so chunky). I drank some coffee as I watched them looking around at what was happening to them. I gave them each a marshmallow bunny and they happily munched them. I loaded up the remaining cedar chips and cheerios I had for them and filled a zip lock with some boring dog food. At least they would be good to go for awhile. The cats snooped around the aquaruim at them and they looked at each other. Sniffing each other through the glass as best they could. I got the camera out and snapped some pictures (I know, I know, I am nuts!). I told them they were in for a new adventure. I hoped they were ready for it. Scot got up and he too said his goodbye's and he loaded them in behind the seats of the truck. They were scared and huddled together in the corner. Poor little guys.
As I was driving down the highway I started to cough. I couldn't breathe very well and couldn't get much air. The rats, I thought. They are going to kill me yet. I rolled down the windows and turned the heat on full blast. I was still coughing and wheezing and was feeling light headed from all the air I was not getting. I couldn't get to work soon enough to get out of that truck. When Tara showed up (I was still wheezing) and I asked, "Are you still going to take the rats?" She said, "Oh yes". Whew, good thing too. I didn't think I could drive back home with them in the truck. I told her about my trip to town and she said, "Let's take them out of your truck now so it can air out before you have to get in it again". Good idea! So we transfered the fat boys to her car. She said, "Oh my goodness, Ihave never seen rats so fat in all my life!" I tried to tell her. It's one of those things you have to see to believe.
I told her they were almost two years old, and again she was surprised. "How long do rats live?", she asked. I told her I had no idea and I guess we would find out soon enough. I explained all the things they liked to eat, I hoped she was listening. She took them home on her lunch break and said the two youngest ones who aren't in school were excited about them. The other two would see them later that day. I felt sad to give them away. But it was necessary. The kids won't be able to go into my sewing room to see how fat they have gotten since the last time they seen them. It was always a family joke around here. "Geez mom, what are you feeding them?" I would tell them to save two biscuits at supper time for the rats. I guess now they can all fight over those two biscuits that won't be left over. There is a big empty space in my sewing room now. I guess a nice plant would be better for the air in there then poor Boots and Socks.
I start in my own back yard.
"Jeremy, do you want some pet rats?"
Jinny says, "No Jeremy. Don't even think of it."
"Shawn, how about you?"
"No", from both him and Chrissie.
"Timmy?"
"No."
So much for my own back yard. I was chatting one night with my friend Debbie. I asked her to ask her son if he knew of anyone who wanted pet rats. She said, "No! He isn't having any @#^%( *&%^%#@)( pet rats". That response didn't surprise me. I expected it. But tell him to ask around. I guess I will try at work. I tried to single out people I knew that had kids. You would not believe the responses I got.
"You have what?"
"Rats," I say.
"You mean you have them as pets?"
"Yes."
"You mean you hold them and stuff like that?"
"Well, you see that is the problem, I am allergic to them so I can't hold them and pet them. I need someone to take them who will give them some attention."
They aren't listening to me. They are still stuck on the idea that I have pet rats!
"Your kidding me right?"
"No, I am serious."
"I have a whole new impression of you, Sheila. I never thought of you as having RATS for a pet."
I became rat fink, and rat girl. And no one wanted any pet rats. They just shook their heads and laughed at me. I got a lot of interesting suggestions. Set them loose, give them to your cats, let the dogs play with them. Take them back to the pet store. Come on, I saved them from being snake food, how could I do that? A snake owner would take one look at how fat and healthy they were and they would be history in the belly of a hungry snake. Besides, no matter what anyone says they are fat cute guys. Scot told me I would be stuck with them forever and I was beginning to believe him. But I would not give up my quest.
Along came Tara. A new girl at work. She has four kids. And it never occured to me to ask her. Four kids is enough to feed. One morning we somehow got on the subject of pets. I mentioned that I was still trying to find a new home for my pet rats. Tara said, "Friday is my sons birthday and I would love to take them". Then Yolanda said, "I didn't know you were trying to get rid of your rats. I would have taken them for my son". Where was she the whole time I was interviewing people? There we sat, three women discussing how neat rats were for pets. Can you believe this? I knew that they would be taken care of now. But I was also worried that four young children might be dangerous for Boots and Socks. But I think I have no other choice then to do this. I couldn't wait to tell Scot that my situation has been solved.
Friday morning was a little hard for me. I got the aquarium and sat it on the bar. It was a heavy load (especially since Boots is so chunky). I drank some coffee as I watched them looking around at what was happening to them. I gave them each a marshmallow bunny and they happily munched them. I loaded up the remaining cedar chips and cheerios I had for them and filled a zip lock with some boring dog food. At least they would be good to go for awhile. The cats snooped around the aquaruim at them and they looked at each other. Sniffing each other through the glass as best they could. I got the camera out and snapped some pictures (I know, I know, I am nuts!). I told them they were in for a new adventure. I hoped they were ready for it. Scot got up and he too said his goodbye's and he loaded them in behind the seats of the truck. They were scared and huddled together in the corner. Poor little guys.
As I was driving down the highway I started to cough. I couldn't breathe very well and couldn't get much air. The rats, I thought. They are going to kill me yet. I rolled down the windows and turned the heat on full blast. I was still coughing and wheezing and was feeling light headed from all the air I was not getting. I couldn't get to work soon enough to get out of that truck. When Tara showed up (I was still wheezing) and I asked, "Are you still going to take the rats?" She said, "Oh yes". Whew, good thing too. I didn't think I could drive back home with them in the truck. I told her about my trip to town and she said, "Let's take them out of your truck now so it can air out before you have to get in it again". Good idea! So we transfered the fat boys to her car. She said, "Oh my goodness, Ihave never seen rats so fat in all my life!" I tried to tell her. It's one of those things you have to see to believe.
I told her they were almost two years old, and again she was surprised. "How long do rats live?", she asked. I told her I had no idea and I guess we would find out soon enough. I explained all the things they liked to eat, I hoped she was listening. She took them home on her lunch break and said the two youngest ones who aren't in school were excited about them. The other two would see them later that day. I felt sad to give them away. But it was necessary. The kids won't be able to go into my sewing room to see how fat they have gotten since the last time they seen them. It was always a family joke around here. "Geez mom, what are you feeding them?" I would tell them to save two biscuits at supper time for the rats. I guess now they can all fight over those two biscuits that won't be left over. There is a big empty space in my sewing room now. I guess a nice plant would be better for the air in there then poor Boots and Socks.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Introducing Socks
You all know about sad little Twitchy. What a saga that was! I called Shawn on Thursday to tell him about the poor little thing. He agreed that the dogs caused him great stress, which ended his little life. I asked him to please bring another mouse/rat for Timmy's snake.
"And what ever you do please don't let me see it."
He laughs. He arrives on Sunday with a huge bucket. I always wonder what is next when he comes in with a bucket. It is always alive.
I said, "Hey, did you bring a rat for Timmy?"
He says, "Yes I did, and I brought one for you too."
My heart fell. Oh no, not again. Why? He comes to me with his hands cupped and opens them up. And all I could say was awllllllll. I immediately took the little thing from him. He is a special kind of rat. A curly haired rat, Shawn tells me. He has all kinds of waves in his hair. He is a dark charcoal color and has 4 tiny white feet. I immediately named him Socks. But I did not want to keep him. A rat! He was the center of attention most of the day. Jeremy held him for a long time and he is so cute. Never nibbles on you and his little nose twitches all the time.
A rat!
I can't believe this.
I had to go to work on Monday and tell the ladies. They laughed at me again. On the way home I was thinking I would call Jeremy and see if he would like to take him. He has an empty aquarium and he sure liked the little guy. We stopped at the pet store to pick up Timmy that day and Scot asked Shawn if they had any rat cage's he could look at. Ooh no, I know what that means. If I don't say anything now the rat will be mine forever. I kept quiet. The cages on the pet store are really too expensive so I decided we could get one at Wal-Mart for less. We leave and are on our way to Wal-Mart. The whole time I am thinking that I can say never mind. I will call Jeremy and see if he wants it. But the words never came out. I kept thinking about how cute his little fuzzy fur is and about how sweet he is.
A rat!
I am loosing my mind.
We get to Wal-Mart and it is a big family decision to get the right cage. Timmy is going for the biggest and fanciest cage there is. Notice he is not paying. I make the decision and we get the smaller one. It is really a hamster cage with a wheel and a water bottle and a little house. He will out grow it one day but for now it will do. Off we go. When we get home I unload it and put it together. I don't have any cedar chips at this time so I shred up some newspaper and fix him all up. He looked so happy in there and got busy shuffling stuff around. I put him back in my sewing room so the dogs would not have another fight and frighten him. I fell asleep on the couch that night and when Scot woke me up for bed I decided to peek at my new little buddy before I went to bed. My heart literally jumped when I looked in there. There were two of them! Then I remembered Timmy's rat. Guess that stupid snake is still not hungry. His rat is not nearly as cute as mine is though. But he will have to be Boots to match Socks. There they were scurrying around together. I sighed and closed the door again.
Every morning I go and see them before work. Then I visit them after work and say good night to them before bed. They really are cute the way they snuggle together and run around and play. You know the old saying that someone's hair looks like a rat's nest? I know just how that saying came about. When I clean the cage out I take newspaper and tear it in long strips so they can do what they like to do. They build a nest. It is mounded high to the top of the cage and all pushed to one end. It is truly amazing! It must be a lot of work too. Then they live right in the center of it and poke there little heads out when I go to see them. Socks likes me already. If I stick my hand in the cage he just crawls right into it. I think Jeremy really tamed him on Sunday with all the holding he did. Okay, so he is cute. And I know I am crazy when I hold him and pet him. And I know I am crazy when I brush him close to my cheek and let him smell my face. He is so cute and so sweet. What can I say? My mom thinks I have lost it, she may be right but there are two rats in this world that will not be snake food after all.
"And what ever you do please don't let me see it."
He laughs. He arrives on Sunday with a huge bucket. I always wonder what is next when he comes in with a bucket. It is always alive.
I said, "Hey, did you bring a rat for Timmy?"
He says, "Yes I did, and I brought one for you too."
My heart fell. Oh no, not again. Why? He comes to me with his hands cupped and opens them up. And all I could say was awllllllll. I immediately took the little thing from him. He is a special kind of rat. A curly haired rat, Shawn tells me. He has all kinds of waves in his hair. He is a dark charcoal color and has 4 tiny white feet. I immediately named him Socks. But I did not want to keep him. A rat! He was the center of attention most of the day. Jeremy held him for a long time and he is so cute. Never nibbles on you and his little nose twitches all the time.
A rat!
I can't believe this.
I had to go to work on Monday and tell the ladies. They laughed at me again. On the way home I was thinking I would call Jeremy and see if he would like to take him. He has an empty aquarium and he sure liked the little guy. We stopped at the pet store to pick up Timmy that day and Scot asked Shawn if they had any rat cage's he could look at. Ooh no, I know what that means. If I don't say anything now the rat will be mine forever. I kept quiet. The cages on the pet store are really too expensive so I decided we could get one at Wal-Mart for less. We leave and are on our way to Wal-Mart. The whole time I am thinking that I can say never mind. I will call Jeremy and see if he wants it. But the words never came out. I kept thinking about how cute his little fuzzy fur is and about how sweet he is.
A rat!
I am loosing my mind.
We get to Wal-Mart and it is a big family decision to get the right cage. Timmy is going for the biggest and fanciest cage there is. Notice he is not paying. I make the decision and we get the smaller one. It is really a hamster cage with a wheel and a water bottle and a little house. He will out grow it one day but for now it will do. Off we go. When we get home I unload it and put it together. I don't have any cedar chips at this time so I shred up some newspaper and fix him all up. He looked so happy in there and got busy shuffling stuff around. I put him back in my sewing room so the dogs would not have another fight and frighten him. I fell asleep on the couch that night and when Scot woke me up for bed I decided to peek at my new little buddy before I went to bed. My heart literally jumped when I looked in there. There were two of them! Then I remembered Timmy's rat. Guess that stupid snake is still not hungry. His rat is not nearly as cute as mine is though. But he will have to be Boots to match Socks. There they were scurrying around together. I sighed and closed the door again.
Every morning I go and see them before work. Then I visit them after work and say good night to them before bed. They really are cute the way they snuggle together and run around and play. You know the old saying that someone's hair looks like a rat's nest? I know just how that saying came about. When I clean the cage out I take newspaper and tear it in long strips so they can do what they like to do. They build a nest. It is mounded high to the top of the cage and all pushed to one end. It is truly amazing! It must be a lot of work too. Then they live right in the center of it and poke there little heads out when I go to see them. Socks likes me already. If I stick my hand in the cage he just crawls right into it. I think Jeremy really tamed him on Sunday with all the holding he did. Okay, so he is cute. And I know I am crazy when I hold him and pet him. And I know I am crazy when I brush him close to my cheek and let him smell my face. He is so cute and so sweet. What can I say? My mom thinks I have lost it, she may be right but there are two rats in this world that will not be snake food after all.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Bad Twitchy!
This is the smartest mouse I have ever seen. Where did we leave off at on this story? It is not over yet!
Sunday morning (the next day) when Timmy woke up the first thing he said when he came out of his room was not good morning but, 'Did you take Twitchy out of my room?"
"No," I said and noticed that he has a permanent name now.
"Well, that's it! He had his chance, and he is snake food for sure now!"
Again we searched all over the house for Twitchy. He was no where to be found. Naturally it was my fault. I was the one who so lovingly put the empty toilet paper roll in the bowl for him to sleep in. It seems he is using it for a ladder instead of a bed. The kids all showed up for Sunday dinner and I warned the girls that Twitchy was loose. Jinny looked a little worried and Chrissie just started laughing. She is use to critters, she lives with Shawn. Shawn raises his eyebrows and asks who Twitchy is. And then he tells me as he shakes is head, "You are not suppose to bond with the snakes food." Well, no one told me this in the first place.
Everyone left and it was just about 11 o'clock and we were soon ready for bed. Then there was a small flash of white scurrying across the floor. It's Twitchy! Under the couch he goes. I think BJ (the dog) was the one who spied him first. With BJ at one end of the couch, me at the other, and Timmy in the middle with a yardstick we were going to get Twitchy somehow. I laughed at BJ from the other end of the couch. It was so funny seeing his little bug eyes looking under there as though he was truly going to help us get this mouse. He was probably looking for a midnight snack. Twitchy is the most scurrying little thing I have ever seen. What with all the dust under the couch and Timmy swishing the yardstick back and forth I couldn't breathe. Surely it was killing Twitchy too. We were closing in on him. Timmy finally got him by the tail but could not pull him out. I got him on the other side and cupped him in my hands.
"I got him!", I yelled.
Then he squirmed out of my hands again. Of course Timmy yelled at me. Not fair. I didn't yell at him when he let go of his tail. To the other end of the couch he went. Scot just kept his feet up and tried to finish watching his TV show while we looked like idiots scuffling around chasing a mouse. He ran to where BJ was, and Timmy yelled, "He's coming B. Get ready to catch him". By this time it was getting really funny, but Timmy was not laughing as much as I was. He failed to see the humor in all of it. That's because he was not looking at how funny BJ was. He was starting to snort and slobber with all the excitement. Twitchy was still heading in the direction of the dog, I think he saw his beady eyes focused on him and froze. With the yardstick in hand, Timmy was now able to steer him in the direction we needed him to go. Out from under the couch he came and he ran right behind the dogs toy box. With me on one side and BJ on the other side, licking his lips and glaring at him with those little beady eyes, he was trapped. BJ was just waiting for his next move. Timmy got him. There was much triumph in his smile too.
"I got you know you stupid mouse!"
He put him in back in his bowl with the usual comment.
"That's it buddy, your snake food now!"
He went to the kitchen, with a strut in his walk, and put saran wrap over the top and secured it. He punched a few holes in it and said, "There! Now try to get out". Do you think, if we had a covering over the top of it in the first place this would not have happened? Twitchy was safe for now, until tomorrow comes. But please note he did not get placed in the cage with the snake. The excitement was over and now we could go to bed.
Monday morning comes and the excitement continues. After my shower I was wondering about the bedroom to get dressed. I noticed Noah (the other dog) and Poopers (the cat) staring under the desk in there.
"Oh no," I said, "is it twitchy?"
I got on my hands and knees (butt naked) and looked to see what it was. It was only a rubber dog toy. I got it out and said, "Here Noah". He was not interested in it and kept his watchful eyes under the desk. The cat continued to stare also. She started twitching her tail up and down and back and forth. You know, the way they do it when they see prey. I had this feeling, so I decided to check again. I gently slid my hand under the desk from one end to the next. And guess what? I had Twitchy in my hand. Darn little bugger! I put him in the bathtub until I could get some clothes on to take him back to Timmy's room. I must hurry before the cat discovers where I put him. I placed him in his bowl again and noticed the saran wrap was still in tack. How in the world did he do it? I took out the empty toilet paper roll, which I so lovingly put in there to keep the bugger warm. Maybe Timmy is right? But notice he did not take it out either. I hope he stays in there for now. Timmy has not put him in with the snake yet. I think he feels sorry for me because I have gotten attached to little Twitchy. How did this happen?
Again, I remember what Shawn told me, "Mom, you are not supposed to bond with the food". How could I have known? I wonder if there will be another chapter to Twitchy's life?
Sunday morning (the next day) when Timmy woke up the first thing he said when he came out of his room was not good morning but, 'Did you take Twitchy out of my room?"
"No," I said and noticed that he has a permanent name now.
"Well, that's it! He had his chance, and he is snake food for sure now!"
Again we searched all over the house for Twitchy. He was no where to be found. Naturally it was my fault. I was the one who so lovingly put the empty toilet paper roll in the bowl for him to sleep in. It seems he is using it for a ladder instead of a bed. The kids all showed up for Sunday dinner and I warned the girls that Twitchy was loose. Jinny looked a little worried and Chrissie just started laughing. She is use to critters, she lives with Shawn. Shawn raises his eyebrows and asks who Twitchy is. And then he tells me as he shakes is head, "You are not suppose to bond with the snakes food." Well, no one told me this in the first place.
Everyone left and it was just about 11 o'clock and we were soon ready for bed. Then there was a small flash of white scurrying across the floor. It's Twitchy! Under the couch he goes. I think BJ (the dog) was the one who spied him first. With BJ at one end of the couch, me at the other, and Timmy in the middle with a yardstick we were going to get Twitchy somehow. I laughed at BJ from the other end of the couch. It was so funny seeing his little bug eyes looking under there as though he was truly going to help us get this mouse. He was probably looking for a midnight snack. Twitchy is the most scurrying little thing I have ever seen. What with all the dust under the couch and Timmy swishing the yardstick back and forth I couldn't breathe. Surely it was killing Twitchy too. We were closing in on him. Timmy finally got him by the tail but could not pull him out. I got him on the other side and cupped him in my hands.
"I got him!", I yelled.
Then he squirmed out of my hands again. Of course Timmy yelled at me. Not fair. I didn't yell at him when he let go of his tail. To the other end of the couch he went. Scot just kept his feet up and tried to finish watching his TV show while we looked like idiots scuffling around chasing a mouse. He ran to where BJ was, and Timmy yelled, "He's coming B. Get ready to catch him". By this time it was getting really funny, but Timmy was not laughing as much as I was. He failed to see the humor in all of it. That's because he was not looking at how funny BJ was. He was starting to snort and slobber with all the excitement. Twitchy was still heading in the direction of the dog, I think he saw his beady eyes focused on him and froze. With the yardstick in hand, Timmy was now able to steer him in the direction we needed him to go. Out from under the couch he came and he ran right behind the dogs toy box. With me on one side and BJ on the other side, licking his lips and glaring at him with those little beady eyes, he was trapped. BJ was just waiting for his next move. Timmy got him. There was much triumph in his smile too.
"I got you know you stupid mouse!"
He put him in back in his bowl with the usual comment.
"That's it buddy, your snake food now!"
He went to the kitchen, with a strut in his walk, and put saran wrap over the top and secured it. He punched a few holes in it and said, "There! Now try to get out". Do you think, if we had a covering over the top of it in the first place this would not have happened? Twitchy was safe for now, until tomorrow comes. But please note he did not get placed in the cage with the snake. The excitement was over and now we could go to bed.
Monday morning comes and the excitement continues. After my shower I was wondering about the bedroom to get dressed. I noticed Noah (the other dog) and Poopers (the cat) staring under the desk in there.
"Oh no," I said, "is it twitchy?"
I got on my hands and knees (butt naked) and looked to see what it was. It was only a rubber dog toy. I got it out and said, "Here Noah". He was not interested in it and kept his watchful eyes under the desk. The cat continued to stare also. She started twitching her tail up and down and back and forth. You know, the way they do it when they see prey. I had this feeling, so I decided to check again. I gently slid my hand under the desk from one end to the next. And guess what? I had Twitchy in my hand. Darn little bugger! I put him in the bathtub until I could get some clothes on to take him back to Timmy's room. I must hurry before the cat discovers where I put him. I placed him in his bowl again and noticed the saran wrap was still in tack. How in the world did he do it? I took out the empty toilet paper roll, which I so lovingly put in there to keep the bugger warm. Maybe Timmy is right? But notice he did not take it out either. I hope he stays in there for now. Timmy has not put him in with the snake yet. I think he feels sorry for me because I have gotten attached to little Twitchy. How did this happen?
Again, I remember what Shawn told me, "Mom, you are not supposed to bond with the food". How could I have known? I wonder if there will be another chapter to Twitchy's life?
Saturday, February 16, 2008
The Arrival of Twitchy
In just one day of my life a lot can happen. And today was a very eventful day. It started early this morning after Scot and I got up and showered. We went to get groceries and then just one more stop before we were on our way home. Scot's supervisor is leaving for another job, and the people at work got together and decided on a going away gift for him. I don't know if Scot was elected or volunteered, but we were on our way to a place called ---------EX-treme videos. It is an old trailer house that was gutted out and is now a place where you can rent "those" kinds of movies.
Our mission: a blow up sheep.
Interesting gag gift don't you think? I was a little nervous but curious at the same time. I was surprised to see a very neat and tidy store. But I was uncertain about venturing around. What we needed was right at the front counter. Thank goodness Scot had called the day before. The lady that was working there was an older lady and very nice. That surprised me too. I don't know what I was expecting but it wasn't her. Her Kitty cat named snowball was there with her too. I guess he kept her company all day in between customers. We were waiting for a guy to check out his movies and had a few minutes to look at what was under the glass at the front counter. I hope I was not blushing. Hmmmmm, interesting.
As we were getting ready for our turn to check out. Scot, with a serious look in his eyes (he's good at that) announces loudly, "Is there anything else you need here?" I had about 10 seconds of terrible anger at him. Then he grinned at me and I could not help but to smile back. Yes, I was embarrassed, but only for a minute. He is so bad! As we got to the jeep I told him he was not as funny as he thought he was, and he laughed again.
We went home and put the groceries away and I went to check on Twitchy. Who is Twitchy you ask? Let me back up a few days. Timmy brought home a snake from the pet store last weekend. He had it a few days before I even noticed it. Next thing I know there is this adorable little white mouse with a pink nose and twitchy whiskers. Unfortunately he was the snakes dinner. The snake has not been very interested in Twitchy. So we have spent a lot of time holding Twitchy and feeding him. He's pretty cute, and I can't imagine that he is snake food. I am tired of hearing Timmy tell him he is on death row! He was keeping Twitchy in his bathroom sink until the snake decides he's hungry. Poor Twitchy spends every so often in the snake cage but always makes it out safely. Timmy was not prepared with a cage for the mouse. That bothered me, and I wasn't crazy about him living in the bathroom sink. Who would have guessed he would have such a finicky snake? So I found a deep, large bowl and put Twitchy in it.
I shredded up some paper towels and put an empty toilet paper roll in there for him. I added some cereal and a tiny water dish made from the bottom of a bathroom cup. Sweet Twitchy. I wanted him to be safe from the cats so I placed him in my sewing room and closed the door.
Okay, lets get back to the present time. Groceries are put away and I am off to see about Twitchy.
He is not there.
Bad Twitchy!
I don’t know were Twitchy is but I guess he will not be snake food after all. We looked for him but that was useless. Two cats and two dogs in this big house, I hope he is safe until we find him. And I certainly hope Twitchy was not pregnant. Our electricity went out next. It's about 50 degrees today and it is slowly but surely getting cold in the house.
Poor Twitchy!
Something fell off the electric pole outside and they are fixing it (two hours later). It is getting near dinnertime and we are starting to get bored. No TV, no radio, and alas, no video games for Timmy. He is getting restless and starting to annoy me in his special way. And we have not found that mouse yet! A most interesting day it has been.
Oh Happy Day!
We found Twitchy! He appeared later in the evening. Timmy was in his room playing video games and I heard a shout.
"Mom, I found the mouse! Come here and help me."
He was trying to escape in the closet. He scurried into a bag with all kinds of " Timmy stuff" and we had to dig through old batteries and used lighters, papers and drawings all folded up. Speaker wire and old remote control that are worthless. Someone around here is a pack rat. Twitchy is now in a fish bowl with food and more paper towels and the empty toilet paper roll.
Cute Twitchy.
Timmy said if I pay for another mouse he wouldn't feed Twitchy to that darn old snake. Those were not his exact words, he likes the snake. I do to, but not if he is going to eat Twitchy. This is Twitchy's lucky day! I agreed and promised that I will not look at or touch the next furry critter than came into this house. It's awful being a softie.
Our mission: a blow up sheep.
Interesting gag gift don't you think? I was a little nervous but curious at the same time. I was surprised to see a very neat and tidy store. But I was uncertain about venturing around. What we needed was right at the front counter. Thank goodness Scot had called the day before. The lady that was working there was an older lady and very nice. That surprised me too. I don't know what I was expecting but it wasn't her. Her Kitty cat named snowball was there with her too. I guess he kept her company all day in between customers. We were waiting for a guy to check out his movies and had a few minutes to look at what was under the glass at the front counter. I hope I was not blushing. Hmmmmm, interesting.
As we were getting ready for our turn to check out. Scot, with a serious look in his eyes (he's good at that) announces loudly, "Is there anything else you need here?" I had about 10 seconds of terrible anger at him. Then he grinned at me and I could not help but to smile back. Yes, I was embarrassed, but only for a minute. He is so bad! As we got to the jeep I told him he was not as funny as he thought he was, and he laughed again.
We went home and put the groceries away and I went to check on Twitchy. Who is Twitchy you ask? Let me back up a few days. Timmy brought home a snake from the pet store last weekend. He had it a few days before I even noticed it. Next thing I know there is this adorable little white mouse with a pink nose and twitchy whiskers. Unfortunately he was the snakes dinner. The snake has not been very interested in Twitchy. So we have spent a lot of time holding Twitchy and feeding him. He's pretty cute, and I can't imagine that he is snake food. I am tired of hearing Timmy tell him he is on death row! He was keeping Twitchy in his bathroom sink until the snake decides he's hungry. Poor Twitchy spends every so often in the snake cage but always makes it out safely. Timmy was not prepared with a cage for the mouse. That bothered me, and I wasn't crazy about him living in the bathroom sink. Who would have guessed he would have such a finicky snake? So I found a deep, large bowl and put Twitchy in it.
I shredded up some paper towels and put an empty toilet paper roll in there for him. I added some cereal and a tiny water dish made from the bottom of a bathroom cup. Sweet Twitchy. I wanted him to be safe from the cats so I placed him in my sewing room and closed the door.
Okay, lets get back to the present time. Groceries are put away and I am off to see about Twitchy.
He is not there.
Bad Twitchy!
I don’t know were Twitchy is but I guess he will not be snake food after all. We looked for him but that was useless. Two cats and two dogs in this big house, I hope he is safe until we find him. And I certainly hope Twitchy was not pregnant. Our electricity went out next. It's about 50 degrees today and it is slowly but surely getting cold in the house.
Poor Twitchy!
Something fell off the electric pole outside and they are fixing it (two hours later). It is getting near dinnertime and we are starting to get bored. No TV, no radio, and alas, no video games for Timmy. He is getting restless and starting to annoy me in his special way. And we have not found that mouse yet! A most interesting day it has been.
Oh Happy Day!
We found Twitchy! He appeared later in the evening. Timmy was in his room playing video games and I heard a shout.
"Mom, I found the mouse! Come here and help me."
He was trying to escape in the closet. He scurried into a bag with all kinds of " Timmy stuff" and we had to dig through old batteries and used lighters, papers and drawings all folded up. Speaker wire and old remote control that are worthless. Someone around here is a pack rat. Twitchy is now in a fish bowl with food and more paper towels and the empty toilet paper roll.
Cute Twitchy.
Timmy said if I pay for another mouse he wouldn't feed Twitchy to that darn old snake. Those were not his exact words, he likes the snake. I do to, but not if he is going to eat Twitchy. This is Twitchy's lucky day! I agreed and promised that I will not look at or touch the next furry critter than came into this house. It's awful being a softie.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Garbage Disaster
Garbage is a disgusting thing. And I have discovered another reason why.
It was Thursday morning (trash day) and we were leaving for work. Scot always takes the trash to the end of the driveway on Wednesday evening to get it over and done with. Our driveway is very long. Funny thing that morning, the newspaper was in the flowerbed. It is usually down at the end of the driveway since the newspaper man is too lazy to drive the whole ways up the road to the house. We got in to the jeep and headed down the driveway. As we got closer to the end of the driveway, our mouths started gapping open and our chins dropped to our knees. There was a week's worth of garbage all over the place!! We were in shock. No wonder the newspaperman was generous enough to bring the paper up the driveway. We would have never found it in that mess. I will never talk bad about him again! Scot backs the jeep up the driveway and goes into the house to get more trash bags. See there are all kinds of dogs running loose up and down the road. No one seems to think it is a problem, yeah right!
We get to the end of the road and park the jeep. Scot and I get out and start picking up the mess. It stank! It reeked! It was awful! And it was still dusk. I was afraid to put my hands in that mess, but what else could I do? Do you know what empty beer cans smell like that have been sitting for days in the heat? As we were scooping up the mess one of the dogs started coming our way. Scot says, "There is one of them now." He picks up a rock and hurls it in the air and says, "Get out of here you son of a $%#@*!" Next thing you know there was a yelp or two and the dog tucks it's tail in and thunders off down the road. Scot says, "Hey I got it," as he chuckles. I looked up in time to see a glorious smile on his face. A moment of satisfaction and revenge for him. Pretty good shot since it was not to light out yet.
Finally we had most of the mess cleaned up. All that was left was soiled cat litter, wet coffee grounds and nasty cigarette butts. They would have to wait. And hopefully blow away before we get home. As we got back into the jeep I smellt of my hands. Oh yuck! They smelled like garbage. Scot offered to go back to the house so I could wash them but I said I could make it until we got to town and wash them at work. We were really running behind. We got stuck behind the school bus for about 15 minutes on the road. Stopping and loading every three minutes. And when we came to a dead stop I could smell myself when the wind wasn't blowing. Nasty! As we were traveling down the highway we went through two clouds of skunk odor. I would have loved to put my hand over my mouth and nose to cover the smell, but I took the lesser of the two evils and toughed it out. How I wished I had taken Scot up on his offer to go wash my hands! I sat very still all the way in town and did not touch anything but my mug of coffee. When we got to my stop it was day light by them. I looked down at my hands and was surprised to see how nasty and dirty they were. Thank goodness I had tied my flying scarf (to keep my hair in place) on my head before I started picking up garbage. Now all I had to do was carefully take it off. The thought of touching my face did not appeal to me at this moment.
I went to the ladies room as soon as I got in the building and scrubbed my hands. Then I worked on the handle of my coffee mug. I went outside to the Smokey pokey and sprayed perfume all over my pants and shoes. As I recited this story to my friends at work I continued to ask them for the first three hours of the day if they could smell me. Then I added more hand lotion and perfume to myself. They said they did not smell me but continued to call me garbage lady all day. When Scot picked me up after work I told him that I was paranoid all day that I smelled. He said he had the same problem, only he did smell. He had "stuff" wedged in between the tracks on the bottom of his shoes. Ewwwww! We are still laughing about it, especially the part where the dog got hit in the rump with a rock.
New rule…… never ever, leave garage at the end of the road unless every bag is securely locked inside the trash can with the lid tightly sealed!!
It was Thursday morning (trash day) and we were leaving for work. Scot always takes the trash to the end of the driveway on Wednesday evening to get it over and done with. Our driveway is very long. Funny thing that morning, the newspaper was in the flowerbed. It is usually down at the end of the driveway since the newspaper man is too lazy to drive the whole ways up the road to the house. We got in to the jeep and headed down the driveway. As we got closer to the end of the driveway, our mouths started gapping open and our chins dropped to our knees. There was a week's worth of garbage all over the place!! We were in shock. No wonder the newspaperman was generous enough to bring the paper up the driveway. We would have never found it in that mess. I will never talk bad about him again! Scot backs the jeep up the driveway and goes into the house to get more trash bags. See there are all kinds of dogs running loose up and down the road. No one seems to think it is a problem, yeah right!
We get to the end of the road and park the jeep. Scot and I get out and start picking up the mess. It stank! It reeked! It was awful! And it was still dusk. I was afraid to put my hands in that mess, but what else could I do? Do you know what empty beer cans smell like that have been sitting for days in the heat? As we were scooping up the mess one of the dogs started coming our way. Scot says, "There is one of them now." He picks up a rock and hurls it in the air and says, "Get out of here you son of a $%#@*!" Next thing you know there was a yelp or two and the dog tucks it's tail in and thunders off down the road. Scot says, "Hey I got it," as he chuckles. I looked up in time to see a glorious smile on his face. A moment of satisfaction and revenge for him. Pretty good shot since it was not to light out yet.
Finally we had most of the mess cleaned up. All that was left was soiled cat litter, wet coffee grounds and nasty cigarette butts. They would have to wait. And hopefully blow away before we get home. As we got back into the jeep I smellt of my hands. Oh yuck! They smelled like garbage. Scot offered to go back to the house so I could wash them but I said I could make it until we got to town and wash them at work. We were really running behind. We got stuck behind the school bus for about 15 minutes on the road. Stopping and loading every three minutes. And when we came to a dead stop I could smell myself when the wind wasn't blowing. Nasty! As we were traveling down the highway we went through two clouds of skunk odor. I would have loved to put my hand over my mouth and nose to cover the smell, but I took the lesser of the two evils and toughed it out. How I wished I had taken Scot up on his offer to go wash my hands! I sat very still all the way in town and did not touch anything but my mug of coffee. When we got to my stop it was day light by them. I looked down at my hands and was surprised to see how nasty and dirty they were. Thank goodness I had tied my flying scarf (to keep my hair in place) on my head before I started picking up garbage. Now all I had to do was carefully take it off. The thought of touching my face did not appeal to me at this moment.
I went to the ladies room as soon as I got in the building and scrubbed my hands. Then I worked on the handle of my coffee mug. I went outside to the Smokey pokey and sprayed perfume all over my pants and shoes. As I recited this story to my friends at work I continued to ask them for the first three hours of the day if they could smell me. Then I added more hand lotion and perfume to myself. They said they did not smell me but continued to call me garbage lady all day. When Scot picked me up after work I told him that I was paranoid all day that I smelled. He said he had the same problem, only he did smell. He had "stuff" wedged in between the tracks on the bottom of his shoes. Ewwwww! We are still laughing about it, especially the part where the dog got hit in the rump with a rock.
New rule…… never ever, leave garage at the end of the road unless every bag is securely locked inside the trash can with the lid tightly sealed!!
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
And there came a flood
It seems that we are always having some kind of adventure at our house. What I would give for a few weeks of nothingness.
Sunday was a most hectic day for us. Timmy recently got a new job and had to be at work at 11:00 on Sunday. So at 10:30 Scot kissed me good bye and they headed out the door. I was in my sewing room repairing a pair of shorts for Shawn that was not worth the trouble. They were so old and worn. I sighed and gave up. I put the last load of laundry in the washing machine and went back to my sewing room again. I needed to replace a zipper in a skirt for Chrissie. It was a tedious job since I had to take half the skirt apart to do it. But I was determined to finish it so I got very engrossed in the project. The radio was playing and I was in my own little world. It took me about an hour and I was finished. Just in time for Scot to be home. I heard the dogs getting excited so I knew he was coming in the front door. I got up to go greet him and as he was coming in the door I heard him yell, "SHEILA!!!!"
And then I saw it for myself.
The washing machine had been filling up for an hour. There was a flood like I have never seen before. I ran to the washing machine ever so gently so as not to slip and fall, and hit the button to stop the water flow. I also noticed that I was really wading in about 2 inches of water. It had spread all through the utility room, into the kitchen and was just touching the edges of the carpet in both the front room and the family room. Then I heard it, the sound of a waterfall. The register vents in a mobile home are on the floor. The water was falling down the kitchen vent at rapid speed. Panic struck both of us. Did you ever notice how fast your reactions are when panic strikes? Thank goodness we have one of those water sucker upper machines! We pulled it out of the closet (grateful it was not outside in the shed) and had it together in no time. Scot was dragging it through the water before I could unwind the cord. It was plugged in and he was getting busy. I went back to the utility room and opened the back door. Where to start? Mopping was useless, so I got the broom and began to sweep water out the back door. The flood seemed to be never ending. Scot had his first load of water to dump. He was carrying it to the kitchen sink and heaved it up to dump it. There was way too much water in the tub and most of it spilled right back on the floor.
I won't tell you what he said.
Guess for yourself.
At this point I did not make any eye contact. I just kept sweeping. I was sort of laughing inside, it is just his luck that something like that would happen when he is under stress. The other full tubs of water were dumped in the bathtub. Thank goodness for one-floor homes. The back yard was beginning to look like a swamp at this point. With all the rain we have been having and now this, it may never dry out. On my hands and knees now, I am sopping up water with towels and wringing them out in a bucket. The bucket gets dumped out the back door. It is never ending.
Bucket after bucket out the back door.
Tub after tub of water into the bathtub.
My jeans were soaked to the knees, the dogs are wading around in water. The cats are hiding, somewhere up high, I am sure. No time to look for them now. I had a thought of dread at that moment. What if it seeped through the walls into the other side of the house? Our closet and bedroom are on the other side. I went to check and could not believe our good fortune. The rooms were dry! Scot unscrewed the register vents. There was a lot of water to suck up down there. Lots of dirty water I might add. But just think, now our vents are real clean.
By one o'clock we just about had it done. Jeremy and Jinny arrived about that time and Jeremy asks, "Are you guys doing some heavy duty cleaning today?" The water sucker upper machine was still going. I was still on my hands and knees sopping.
"Ah, no", I said, "We had a flood."
He looked at me strange, as to ask what do you mean?
I said, "The washer filled up for an hour straight."
"Oh!" he said, and raised his eyebrows.
He sat down at the table to quietly read the Sunday paper and get out of the way. We finally finished. And the rest of the troops arrived. And so we share the story with all of them. The carpet under the dining room table was a bit soggy no matter how much Scot worked on it. So anytime someone stepped on it they either slid (if they had sneakers on) or the bottom of their jeans slowly but surely got soaked. I guess the floor mopping I was going to do on Monday won't be necessary?
Sunday was a most hectic day for us. Timmy recently got a new job and had to be at work at 11:00 on Sunday. So at 10:30 Scot kissed me good bye and they headed out the door. I was in my sewing room repairing a pair of shorts for Shawn that was not worth the trouble. They were so old and worn. I sighed and gave up. I put the last load of laundry in the washing machine and went back to my sewing room again. I needed to replace a zipper in a skirt for Chrissie. It was a tedious job since I had to take half the skirt apart to do it. But I was determined to finish it so I got very engrossed in the project. The radio was playing and I was in my own little world. It took me about an hour and I was finished. Just in time for Scot to be home. I heard the dogs getting excited so I knew he was coming in the front door. I got up to go greet him and as he was coming in the door I heard him yell, "SHEILA!!!!"
And then I saw it for myself.
The washing machine had been filling up for an hour. There was a flood like I have never seen before. I ran to the washing machine ever so gently so as not to slip and fall, and hit the button to stop the water flow. I also noticed that I was really wading in about 2 inches of water. It had spread all through the utility room, into the kitchen and was just touching the edges of the carpet in both the front room and the family room. Then I heard it, the sound of a waterfall. The register vents in a mobile home are on the floor. The water was falling down the kitchen vent at rapid speed. Panic struck both of us. Did you ever notice how fast your reactions are when panic strikes? Thank goodness we have one of those water sucker upper machines! We pulled it out of the closet (grateful it was not outside in the shed) and had it together in no time. Scot was dragging it through the water before I could unwind the cord. It was plugged in and he was getting busy. I went back to the utility room and opened the back door. Where to start? Mopping was useless, so I got the broom and began to sweep water out the back door. The flood seemed to be never ending. Scot had his first load of water to dump. He was carrying it to the kitchen sink and heaved it up to dump it. There was way too much water in the tub and most of it spilled right back on the floor.
I won't tell you what he said.
Guess for yourself.
At this point I did not make any eye contact. I just kept sweeping. I was sort of laughing inside, it is just his luck that something like that would happen when he is under stress. The other full tubs of water were dumped in the bathtub. Thank goodness for one-floor homes. The back yard was beginning to look like a swamp at this point. With all the rain we have been having and now this, it may never dry out. On my hands and knees now, I am sopping up water with towels and wringing them out in a bucket. The bucket gets dumped out the back door. It is never ending.
Bucket after bucket out the back door.
Tub after tub of water into the bathtub.
My jeans were soaked to the knees, the dogs are wading around in water. The cats are hiding, somewhere up high, I am sure. No time to look for them now. I had a thought of dread at that moment. What if it seeped through the walls into the other side of the house? Our closet and bedroom are on the other side. I went to check and could not believe our good fortune. The rooms were dry! Scot unscrewed the register vents. There was a lot of water to suck up down there. Lots of dirty water I might add. But just think, now our vents are real clean.
By one o'clock we just about had it done. Jeremy and Jinny arrived about that time and Jeremy asks, "Are you guys doing some heavy duty cleaning today?" The water sucker upper machine was still going. I was still on my hands and knees sopping.
"Ah, no", I said, "We had a flood."
He looked at me strange, as to ask what do you mean?
I said, "The washer filled up for an hour straight."
"Oh!" he said, and raised his eyebrows.
He sat down at the table to quietly read the Sunday paper and get out of the way. We finally finished. And the rest of the troops arrived. And so we share the story with all of them. The carpet under the dining room table was a bit soggy no matter how much Scot worked on it. So anytime someone stepped on it they either slid (if they had sneakers on) or the bottom of their jeans slowly but surely got soaked. I guess the floor mopping I was going to do on Monday won't be necessary?
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Afflicted with stupidity
It was a slow day at work. It usually was that time of year. I had already finished my steamy romance novel and a letter to my brother and sister in law. In between calls I decide there was some information I needed to check out on the net. I was recently blessed with Internet access at work. Ask and you will receive, who ever thought it would be so easy? I was on a floor that was mostly occupied with management. We had our own little section to our selves. I wanted to check out something called 'restless leg syndrome'. I suffer from it. It is a pretty new thing and I wanted to see what to do for the horrible symptoms of aching legs.
It seemed forever for me to find anything but finally I was there. I figured it was safe to just print it and read it at my desk without having it on my screen for everyone to see. Naturally, we are not supposed to be doing things like that from our computers but, I did anyway. I hit print, all, and 1 copy. Click. I rushed down the short hall way to the central printer and waited. Nothing. I went back to my desk and hit print, all, number of copies, 1, click. I hurried down the hall and again there was nothing. Well, dag gum it! I went back to my desk once again. Print, all, number of copies, 1, click. I hurried down the hall and heard the whining of the printer before I got to it. Finally it worked! There, coming out, was what I printed. What is this I see? Page 1 of 42. Oh no! Crap! I looked over my right shoulder, I looked over my left shoulder. Seems everyone was at a meeting for management. Lucky me. I drummed on the top of the printer with my fingers. Still watching. Page 27 of 42, half way through. I neatly stacked them upside down as they came out. Just in case anyone happened to pass by. They would surely think I was a busy worker. Page 39 of 42, almost done. I was safe.
The printer started to wind up again. I decided to stay to make sure it wasn't something for one of the other ladies. I could save them a trip to the printer since I was already there. Oh no! Page 1 of 42. This is not good. Again I look over my right shoulder, and over my left shoulder. I tap my fingers on top of the printer. Stacking the paper so nice and neatly upside down on the table. Just in case anyone comes by and sees how busy of a worker I was. I cannot believe my stupidity! Finally it was done. The smell of fresh ink and warm papers was in the air. I kind of like that smell but that was not a good time to enjoy it! The printer started to wind up again. It just could not be! But oh yes, here it comes again. Page 1 of 42. I did hit print three times didn't I? I tried to hit any button on the printer to make it stop. Nothing was working. I did not care if I canceled anyone else's printing. I just wanted it to stop! Oh please stop! I would have been skinned alive if anyone were to come by and see my face. For it was ridden with guilt! Finally it was done. No more winding up. It stopped for real. Thank goodness. I went back to my desk with my large stack of warm freshly printed papers. How many pages was that? 126? My, but they did smell nice. And they were so nice and warm. I can't believe I wasted that much paper and ink.
I thought not to share it with anyone but you know how it is when you are afflicted with stupidity. The more stupid it is, the more you want to share it with someone. I knelt by my co-workers chair, laughing as quietly as I could. She said, 'what did you do this time?' She was already laughing and I hadn't even told her yet. I finally told her in between laughs and she laughed even harder. I had only to figure out what to do with all those papers I printed. I could have dumped them in the recycling bin but surely someone would have seen my grave error. They would not know it was me, but I was too chicken to take the chance. So I kept one copy and dumped the rest in my wastebasket. The nighttime janitors would be the only ones to see them. They won't care. I read the other copy. What a bunch of hogwash! Medical terms I could not understand anyway! Geez, what a deal! I dumped that copy in the trash after I read what I could understand. I would still be afflicted with restless leg syndrome, the cure was too hard to comprehend. And I would still be afflicted with stupidity. No laughing! You know that all of you are afflicted with it once in a while too.
It seemed forever for me to find anything but finally I was there. I figured it was safe to just print it and read it at my desk without having it on my screen for everyone to see. Naturally, we are not supposed to be doing things like that from our computers but, I did anyway. I hit print, all, and 1 copy. Click. I rushed down the short hall way to the central printer and waited. Nothing. I went back to my desk and hit print, all, number of copies, 1, click. I hurried down the hall and again there was nothing. Well, dag gum it! I went back to my desk once again. Print, all, number of copies, 1, click. I hurried down the hall and heard the whining of the printer before I got to it. Finally it worked! There, coming out, was what I printed. What is this I see? Page 1 of 42. Oh no! Crap! I looked over my right shoulder, I looked over my left shoulder. Seems everyone was at a meeting for management. Lucky me. I drummed on the top of the printer with my fingers. Still watching. Page 27 of 42, half way through. I neatly stacked them upside down as they came out. Just in case anyone happened to pass by. They would surely think I was a busy worker. Page 39 of 42, almost done. I was safe.
The printer started to wind up again. I decided to stay to make sure it wasn't something for one of the other ladies. I could save them a trip to the printer since I was already there. Oh no! Page 1 of 42. This is not good. Again I look over my right shoulder, and over my left shoulder. I tap my fingers on top of the printer. Stacking the paper so nice and neatly upside down on the table. Just in case anyone comes by and sees how busy of a worker I was. I cannot believe my stupidity! Finally it was done. The smell of fresh ink and warm papers was in the air. I kind of like that smell but that was not a good time to enjoy it! The printer started to wind up again. It just could not be! But oh yes, here it comes again. Page 1 of 42. I did hit print three times didn't I? I tried to hit any button on the printer to make it stop. Nothing was working. I did not care if I canceled anyone else's printing. I just wanted it to stop! Oh please stop! I would have been skinned alive if anyone were to come by and see my face. For it was ridden with guilt! Finally it was done. No more winding up. It stopped for real. Thank goodness. I went back to my desk with my large stack of warm freshly printed papers. How many pages was that? 126? My, but they did smell nice. And they were so nice and warm. I can't believe I wasted that much paper and ink.
I thought not to share it with anyone but you know how it is when you are afflicted with stupidity. The more stupid it is, the more you want to share it with someone. I knelt by my co-workers chair, laughing as quietly as I could. She said, 'what did you do this time?' She was already laughing and I hadn't even told her yet. I finally told her in between laughs and she laughed even harder. I had only to figure out what to do with all those papers I printed. I could have dumped them in the recycling bin but surely someone would have seen my grave error. They would not know it was me, but I was too chicken to take the chance. So I kept one copy and dumped the rest in my wastebasket. The nighttime janitors would be the only ones to see them. They won't care. I read the other copy. What a bunch of hogwash! Medical terms I could not understand anyway! Geez, what a deal! I dumped that copy in the trash after I read what I could understand. I would still be afflicted with restless leg syndrome, the cure was too hard to comprehend. And I would still be afflicted with stupidity. No laughing! You know that all of you are afflicted with it once in a while too.
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