Afflicted with stupidity

It was a slow day at work. It usually was that time of year. I had already finished my steamy romance novel and a letter to my brother and sister in law. In between calls I decide there was some information I needed to check out on the net. I was recently blessed with Internet access at work. Ask and you will receive, who ever thought it would be so easy? I was on a floor that was mostly occupied with management. We had our own little section to our selves. I wanted to check out something called 'restless leg syndrome'. I suffer from it. It is a pretty new thing and I wanted to see what to do for the horrible symptoms of aching legs.

It seemed forever for me to find anything but finally I was there. I figured it was safe to just print it and read it at my desk without having it on my screen for everyone to see. Naturally, we are not supposed to be doing things like that from our computers but, I did anyway. I hit print, all, and 1 copy. Click. I rushed down the short hall way to the central printer and waited. Nothing. I went back to my desk and hit print, all, number of copies, 1, click. I hurried down the hall and again there was nothing. Well, dag gum it! I went back to my desk once again. Print, all, number of copies, 1, click. I hurried down the hall and heard the whining of the printer before I got to it. Finally it worked! There, coming out, was what I printed. What is this I see? Page 1 of 42. Oh no! Crap! I looked over my right shoulder, I looked over my left shoulder. Seems everyone was at a meeting for management. Lucky me. I drummed on the top of the printer with my fingers. Still watching. Page 27 of 42, half way through. I neatly stacked them upside down as they came out. Just in case anyone happened to pass by. They would surely think I was a busy worker. Page 39 of 42, almost done. I was safe.

The printer started to wind up again. I decided to stay to make sure it wasn't something for one of the other ladies. I could save them a trip to the printer since I was already there. Oh no! Page 1 of 42. This is not good. Again I look over my right shoulder, and over my left shoulder. I tap my fingers on top of the printer. Stacking the paper so nice and neatly upside down on the table. Just in case anyone comes by and sees how busy of a worker I was. I cannot believe my stupidity! Finally it was done. The smell of fresh ink and warm papers was in the air. I kind of like that smell but that was not a good time to enjoy it! The printer started to wind up again. It just could not be! But oh yes, here it comes again. Page 1 of 42. I did hit print three times didn't I? I tried to hit any button on the printer to make it stop. Nothing was working. I did not care if I canceled anyone else's printing. I just wanted it to stop! Oh please stop! I would have been skinned alive if anyone were to come by and see my face. For it was ridden with guilt! Finally it was done. No more winding up. It stopped for real. Thank goodness. I went back to my desk with my large stack of warm freshly printed papers. How many pages was that? 126? My, but they did smell nice. And they were so nice and warm. I can't believe I wasted that much paper and ink.

I thought not to share it with anyone but you know how it is when you are afflicted with stupidity. The more stupid it is, the more you want to share it with someone. I knelt by my co-workers chair, laughing as quietly as I could. She said, 'what did you do this time?' She was already laughing and I hadn't even told her yet. I finally told her in between laughs and she laughed even harder. I had only to figure out what to do with all those papers I printed. I could have dumped them in the recycling bin but surely someone would have seen my grave error. They would not know it was me, but I was too chicken to take the chance. So I kept one copy and dumped the rest in my wastebasket. The nighttime janitors would be the only ones to see them. They won't care. I read the other copy. What a bunch of hogwash! Medical terms I could not understand anyway! Geez, what a deal! I dumped that copy in the trash after I read what I could understand. I would still be afflicted with restless leg syndrome, the cure was too hard to comprehend. And I would still be afflicted with stupidity. No laughing! You know that all of you are afflicted with it once in a while too.